Saturday, September 17, 2011

Product Review: Tempeh

Tempeh: The healthful option
Tempeh (pronounced Tempeh) is a mixture of fermented whole soybeans, barley, oats, and other healthful ingredients formed into a cake and used in a variety of culinary creations. This is a staple food in Indonesia which is not located in the United States. Internet sources describe Indonesia as a series of islands near Asia riddled with sex slave industry and Tempeh factories. I imagine most people read about the variety of Tempeh uses, then actually cook and eat one and never look back. Tempeh is pretty nasty stuff.

The texture: mostly firm. You definitely need to slice it with a knife. Sort of like cheese, sort of like head cheese.

The aroma: Sort of like....mmmm... kinda........put some chicken pigeon in a crock pot and add some of that foo foo near-beer Nitmos likes and a pretty good dollop of dog shit. Simmer on low for a few hours and your kitchen your neighbor's kitchen will smell like Tempeh I think.

What it looks like: A bit like a veggie burger with some blue cheese dark spots.

Care: Keep it refrigerated or, better yet, in your neighbor's trash, or ultimately, leave it at that hippy over-priced grocery store you found it in. It's in the cooler near where Nitmos can be found smuggling Summer Shandy under his girly blue parka.

Taste: See 'Aroma' and go no further.

The Brand: Trader Joes 3 grain Tempeh (BTW, it is inexpensive, likely because of capital economics)

Today's Plate: Sliced into cubes and scrambled with three chicken eggs. Finished with two shakes of the ginger/wasabi sauce bottle. Ice water, a nose clip, and a 75 pound labrador retriever volunteer at the ready.
Knives ready in case any of this actually goes into my mouth
Nutritional benefits: Well yes, there is this. Tempeh is high in fiber, high in protein and "Tempeh  is a great choice for people who have difficulty digesting plant-based high-protein foods like beans and legumes or soy foods such as tofu. The process of fermentation makes the soybeans softer, since enzymes produced by the mould predigests a large portion of the basic nutrients. The Rhizopus moulds produce an enzyme phytase which breaks down phytates, thereby increasing the absorption of minerals such as zinc, iron and calcium. The fermentation process greatly reduces the oligosaccharides that make beans hard to digest for some people. Studies have shown tempeh to be essentially non-flatulent and producing no more gas than non-legume food."

RTP Rating:

Cow pie = not on your life, but it's sometimes fun to watch others interact with this.


Anonymous said...

You brave...brave...soul.

Someone tried to use Tempeh in a recipe on Top Chef several seasons ago. It didn't go well.

Adam said...

LOL. "pronounced, Tempeh"

BTW - word verification: butee. hehe