Friday, April 22, 2011


That's right, what would Jeff do? I have a marijuana marathon (thanks Adam!!) maintenance plan of running long on Saturday mornings alternating with 6 miles, 8, 10, then 7 miles, 9, 11, then back to 6 and start over. The idea is to build up to a base of 20-25 miles per week and also build up the mid week runs to include a rotation of tempo, strides, and hill work. Then around September, I'll fall in love and move out to the Hamptons I will begin a plan that will take me to the starting line for AZ RnR in January ready to break 2:03:02 once and for all, and on a certified course!

So the decision today was whether to run 6 miles or 8. My running partner is still suffering from plantar, asthma, and puddingslow, but we had agreed to run our long runs at 10:45 to 11:15 pace NO MATTER WHAT. It keeps us aerobic, injury free, and trains our bodies to be out on the road for a loooonnnnnggggg time -kinda like a marathon. Running faster only teases my brain into thinking I'm better than I am and results in a finish line disappointment and possibly erectile dysfunction.* Partner went six and I ran 8, but I went fast during three of the miles including the last mile. Most plans would wag a naughty finger at me and say:
Quite simply, Jeff is an idiot
Higdon: No-no-no, stay at your prescribed pace.
Jeff: Shoot, I was feeling good and wanted to stretch it out a bit. And I'm not hurt!
Higdon: Not hurt this time, hows that toe?
Me: welllllll, a little black but that's cool right?
Higdon: Cool rhymes with fool son. Follow my plan and I'll get you across the finish line healthy and happy.
Me: Ok Mr. Higdon, I'll do it!
Higdon: Let me see your hand.
Me: What?
Higdon: Your hand boy. Let me see it!!
Me: This hand? Oh lookie, my fingers were crossed. ha ha
Higdon: (scowling. shakes head and wanders off to Country Buffet because it's almost 4pm)

Marathon training plans are designed from experience, research, and are set to help people cross the finish line feeling happy, healthy, and accomplished. So don't fuck with it Jeff! We are pros who have run for years, usually professionally and Olympically, we've interviewed thousands of runners, and analyzed stats and research, and we really do know what we're talking about. Well Mr. Professional, I'd like to introduce to you to Mr. Ego. Ego has been around for 44 years and also knows what he (it? id?) is talking about. Ego can bring Jeff's credit card (my counselor told me to watch out for third person disassociation shit like this) out in  flash, drive him to run into injury, and generally cause havoc that would make a New York Dolls concert seem like a Scottsdale 85 and older tea party.
lovely, just lovely
I ran faster than my plan allowed. Sue me. No, sue someone else who has money and make up challenging scenarios for me to spend the money in a limited time.

I feel like I'm at a turning point in this quest to be in better physical shape. I'm losing a bit of weight and feeling stronger than I was two years ago about the running, but I remain reluctant to decide whether to go faster and risk mid-run lung ejection or stay at these speeds and feel like I'm getting medium workouts. At what point does a person, can a person, should a person, upgrade to a faster plan?

* possibly, just possibly, but maybe it was the Thai food


gene said...

"cool rhymes with fool, son"...shuffles off to Country Buffet!
wowza! that's wikkid pissah.
glad to see that you are taking your buddy's puddinglegs seriously.
you just never know when you might need a snak-pak.

Suzanne said...

Hey, I finished with 7 miles, TYVM! ;) Such a funny post!!

RunningLaur said...

Glad to hear you're feeling like you're getting into the groove. See you tomorrow!

Adam said...

Mmmm, country buffet. Nothing like never ending steak to get the body ready to train!

I'm the devils advocate, run faster!

Jamoosh said...

Hmmm, thought this was a "What Would Jamoosh Do?" post. I guess I was wrong.