Saturday, April 10, 2010

Mid-Run Mathematics

Had a nice 10 miler with Harrison this morning. Haven't really run much at all for the past couple of weeks, so it was nice to stretch it out a bit. We took the scenic route along Lafayette in upscale Phoenix. Had a good time and he even got in a little nappy. Which is great because the little stinker hasn't been sleeping so good these past three weeks. It seems to be getting better, but this was never described in the owners manual.

HJG weighs about 35 pounds normally and about 38 pounds on pizza night, and though the B.O.B. is a smooth machine, it is extra work. I had a slight mental/spiritual diversion around mile 6 after eating an expired gu.
If Harrison weighs 35 pounds, and I'm pushing him in a stroller at an 8:25 pace -(let's just even that up to 10:30 for ease of math --the gu wasn't that strong!!), and I'm at mile 6.5 going slightly uphill, and it's getting a bit hotter and I'm crossing into Scottsdale, we will say wind is at a gusty 4 mph, you can easily calculate that he weighs a running equivalent of 813 pounds and is getting larger by 47 pounds per mile but will top out at 902. Take the original 35 and add the two digits together to get your 8 for your 800. Take the last digit and add the word 'teen' to it to get your 13 and add this back to your 800 which brings you to 813. Cut your 8 from the 800 in half to get 4 and add the 3 from the Standing On the Verge of Getting it On album to your 2 (twice) from the 1/2 and you get a 47 which is his growth factor.

How does he "top out at 902?" Pay attention!! He HAS to top out at 902. Any larger and the whole formula breaks down and I won't be able to finish my underground home addition on time. Building 47 pounds into 813 can be done once with ease, but twice  takes you over 902 by 5 pounds. You can get 3 pounds grace from pizza night (but that was Tuesday). Two for Tuesday gets you a cushion of 6 pounds. 6 pounds?...... 10 miles?..... 10 to 1?????? 6-1=5?????????????? I think you can see where this is going.

Friends, all I can say is that running brings out an inner animal most of us. Mine looks like a Wolverine, but others have reported visions of an otter-like beast. I hope to recapture this stream of enlightened consciousness soon, and will report. 



Anonymous said...

Friends don't let friends take expired GU. Put the expired GU down! :)

Adam said...

Funny, I +/- 3 pounds too - but my variable isn't pizza night, it is my 'private' time in the bathroom.

This post hurt my head. But, I took a couple of swigs of liquid go-juice and all is right with the world.