Grasshopper Bridge 5K Pre-Race Report

This will be my third running of The Moon Valley Grasshopper Bridge 5K. It was the first organized race I ever ran in and was a big part of what hooked me into running.

First year, I ran 36:25 pushing the little almost one year old. Last year, I ran 30 even (my current PR for 5K) pushing the almost 2 year old. This year he won't have much to do with his stroller so he will get to spectate along with his mommy. My goal is to have fun and come in under 30 minutes. I plan to run a 1/2 to 3/4 mile warm up about 30 minutes before the start time with some strides as recommended by coach Adam. No Nathan belt, no hat, no GU one GU, maybe one water grab at mile 2 maybe not, and try to hold 9 as long as I can and speed up if at all possible in the last mile. My mantra for the race? Glide.

Helen aka Pat

I am also going to line up closer to the front to try to be ahead of the militant walkers. You know the types: "lets get seven friends and intertwine our arms in solidarity of Helen. Helen couldn't be here today, and we are walking in her shoes for her. Helen can't even leave her house today because..... (dramatic music crescendo) Helen can't dump!!! Helen ate cheese all week and bound herself up, then tried laxatives. But she hates ersatz flavored lax, so she substituted M&M's which further impacted her colon. Then she tried a more serious approach, the tried and true 'sit on the pot until it happens'. And she has been there since Thursday. And we love Helen, and fuck you runners who think you need to pass us because you should know that Helen is sitting there right now on the throne red-faced with sweat pouring down her forehead grunting and squirming (ass cheeks completely numb) and possibly causing internal micro-tears from the pressure. WE WALK FOR HELEN!!

This 5K usually has about 1,000 entrants and is a fun family race with lots of different abilities from slow walkers to 15 minute jackrabbits. Straight, gay, tranny, and Adam.

Standard pre-race equipment check, but notice the sparity this time. No Nathan belt, no hat, medium shirt instead of large. Regular shorts --chickened out on the compression shorts (plenty of time girls, plenty of time), Black, yes BLACK, socks. This fat cat is set on sub 30.